Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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