He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
