youre lurking in front of me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
