listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize