I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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