Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
