i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
