Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
