Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
