what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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