I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
