I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
