We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
