I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
should my penis look like a turkey
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
