So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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