I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
