as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
