she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
