Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
