why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Holy sore nipples Batman
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
