We won't sleep together?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
