Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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