those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
