gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You made out with two different species that night
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
