I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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