Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
someone get that fucking seahorse.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
