Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
