ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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