bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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