woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
