well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
