Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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