i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
