Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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