there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
