HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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