oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
