He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
