he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
