I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
