As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
