I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
