Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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