I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize