Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
