you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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