So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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