I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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