my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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