In the future we'll all be gay
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize