I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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