I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
