I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize