I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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