Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
