East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So vagazzling was a success
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