the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You have to summon your inner elephant
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
