On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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