i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
