i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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